I Will Breathe (Forbidden Book 1) Read online

  Liberty washed her hands and face before dressing. She attempted to run her fingers through her tangled hair, but decided it was a lost cause. With her morning lavations taken care of, she went over and slowly turned what she dearly hoped was the right key in Boy’s back. With each turn, Boy slowly came back to life. He blinked and turned to watch her as she continued with the task.

  “Good morning, Boy. What made you come into my room last night?” She gave the key one last turn before patting his head and stepping back.

  Boy blinked a couple of times, as if getting adjusted to being up and going again. He finally answered, “I was afraid of being alone.”

  Liberty sat on the edge of her bed. “What do you know about being afraid? You’re a robot.”

  He moved his legs and fingers, as if testing to make sure they still worked properly. “I know all about feelings. I’m afraid one day I’ll wind down and no one will wind me back up. I loved my father. He created me and made certain I was always wound up, so I would never die.”

  “You think winding down and dying are the same thing?”

  Boy blinked, as if considering her question. “Isn’t it? Father wound down and never woke up.”

  She nodded. “But you’re a robot. You can’t die.”

  “What if I wind down and there’s no one around to wind me back up? Won’t I be dead then?”

  It must have been the lighting in the cabin, because it almost looked as if Boy’s eyes were filling with tears. “I see your point.” Liberty slipped on her boots. ”I understand fear too. I feel it at least twenty times a day for one reason or another, but the one thing my father drilled into my head, for as long as I can remember, was never to give in to feeling love. He said love was too close to hate and that’s why the world is in the shape it is today. Without those two emotions, The Great War would never have been fought.”

  Boy blinked so slowly it gave him the appearance of considering what she had said. He finally asked, “Did you not love your father?”

  She wasn’t certain how to answer that. What was love anyway, and how did a person know if they loved someone or not? “I miss him.” She stood, to put a stop to their conversation. She wasn’t used to so much thinking, not so early in the morning. She waited for Boy to slide out of the chair. “Remind me to wind you up before I go to bed tonight. I can’t do anything to bring your father back, but I’ll do what I can to keep you from being afraid.”

  The sounds of metal clicking along behind her on the wooden deck followed Liberty all the way to the galley. Instead of the clatter being annoying, like she had at first thought it would be, it was comforting not to feel so alone.

  Liberty pulled a round of cheese from the cooler and sliced off a couple of small chunks. It saddened her every time she opened the fruit locker. She only had eight apples left to last until fall. She shouldn’t have given in to Shatter’s negotiations the day before. Out of everything she’d had to trade, he’d demanded ten apples in exchange for the pressure seals. At least she had received the apples’ value plus more, by demanding an entire case of seals in return. That case would probably last though her lifetime, and with any luck, even longer. Besides, Shatter wasn’t getting any younger and might not even be alive the next time she stopped at his trading post.

  Deciding on a splurge, she carefully unwrapped the paper from around an apple and sat to enjoy her feast. It would have been easier to savor her breakfast had Boy not kept distracting her with his endless prowling through drawers and looking into cupboards. She giggled and accidentally spit out a chunk of apple when he held a jar of applesauce millimeters from his eyes, as if a closer examination would somehow explain the mystery of what was inside.

  “Sit down. I’m going to choke on my breakfast if you don’t.”

  Boy put the jar back into the cabinet. Maybe he wasn’t going to be so hard to live with after all. He was neat, did what he was told without question and could be used as a light when needed. Those were all good qualities in a shipmate.

  Once seated, the robot, without blinking, watched Liberty eat her apple. He finally said, “I’ve never seen a real apple before. Of course I have photos of them in my files, but Father thought the trees were extinct.”

  Liberty ate the remaining last few bites, core and all, before answering. “My father found a source on the upper east coast. We’re heading toward the coast now. We’ll stop first and trade for a load of dried fish, take that and trade it for cheese, then head farther north to swap the dried fish and cheese for apples, applesauce and cider. Our last stop before winter will be to trade for honey.”

  “I did not know bees still existed either.”

  “That is my favorite stop. It’s in the most beautiful valley. There are wild flowers growing everywhere.” She closed her eyes, trying to bring the sights and sounds of that special oasis into clearer focus.

  Liberty reopened her eyes and sighed. She chewed on the last two bites of cheese before remembering what Boy had said earlier. “What do you mean you saw photos of apples? I’ve only seen a couple of photos in all my travels. I didn’t know others had survived The Great War.”

  Boy slid open a plate on his chest, and like magic, images appeared. They flashed by in quick succession, photos of apples still on trees, row after row of them in baskets and others of people picking them. Liberty had never seen so many apples or people together in one place before. People were rarer than apples these days. In a few years, there would probably be no one left, because everyone she came across didn’t trust anyone else enough to let them get close. They traded goods to stay alive but no one let their guard down long enough to carry on a conversation, let alone procreate.

  “Where did you get these pictures?” She reached over and touched his chest. “I’ve heard stories of the times before the war but didn’t think they were true. Everything seems to have been in such abundance then.”

  As soon as she’d said that, the photos changed from apples to unfamiliar things. She had visited the ocean before but had never seen what she now saw jumping out of it, or flying above it like her airship. “They’re beautiful. What are they?”

  “Whales, dolphins, seagulls and pelicans.” Boy named each photo, “Flamingos, giraffes, elephants, deer, lions, swans, cats, dogs, a newborn baby, cars, Times Square at night, ballerinas, wheat fields, people ice skating…”

  Soon Liberty no longer heard his words because the photos were so beautiful, but at the same time so very strange. So many things she had never known existed. The world she lived in was so stark by comparison. Each day was just another one to survive, but right there on Boy’s chest were scenes of beauty and happiness. If these wonderful things had really existed, how had people been able to hate so much that they had to destroy it all?

  “Why are you crying?” Boy reached over and trailed a metal finger down her cheek.

  Liberty hadn’t realized she had been crying until he’d pointed it out. Her chest hurt. She whispered, “So much has been lost.” She cleared her throat. “How do you have these images?”

  “My father downloaded them into me when he knew he was dying. He was the Keeper, his father was the Keeper, and his father too, and his father before him. Father only had me to pass this honor down to, so now I’m the Keeper. Father had never viewed them until the day he died. Do you know why?”

  She shook her head.

  “He said he could never bear to see what the Great War had stolen from us. It was easier living in these hard times if he didn’t know about what could have been, if not for the hate and ignorance.”

  He slid the cover back in place. “These things shouldn’t be lost. Someone has to keep safe what has been lost, and what we can have again if we don’t give up.”

  “That’s a great honor.” Now she understood why Boy was afraid of dying.

  Chapter Four

  “May I steer?” Boy stared without blinking as he waited for Liberty’s reply.

  “No.” She checked the gauges and repositione
d her goggles, trying to work out the kink in the strap. Once they were settled back onto her face, she looked over at him. Just to be certain he understood, she repeated, “No.”

  “Please?”

  How could a robot put so such emotion into its voice? Liberty rolled her eyes and tried not to notice Boy’s deadpan stare. Even though he was just a machine, she hated to think she might have hurt his feelings. “Stop staring and go do something useful.”

  “I can steer. That’s useful.” He stared at her, as if that would be enough to break her will.

  “No. You don’t know how to operate an airship.”

  He clinked forward a couple of steps. “You could teach me.”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Please?” Deadpan stare.

  “Damn. I knew it. It told myself back at Tinkers that you were going to be as annoying as hell. I should have left you there, sweeping his storeroom.” She adjusted her goggles again even though there was nothing wrong with them.

  “Why do you always say damn? Am I going to Hell? Are you going to hell?” He blinked once, in slow motion.

  “I feel like I’m already in Hell, but that’s not why I say it. I curse because it makes me feel better. It’s like shooting tiny little poisons darts out of my mouth. I picture them shooting into whatever pisses me off.”

  “Pisses? So you’re urinating while these darts are shooting?” No blink.

  “Whatever did I do to deserve you?” Liberty sighed and plopped into the captain’s seat.

  “Both of our fathers died.”

  Seeing she was losing the battle, she asked, “So what do you want to know about flying Airus?”

  “Everything.”

  She stood and motioned for him to take her place. “Hold here and here, and please don’t get us killed. Okay?”

  “How long before we get to the east coast?” He let go of the wheel.

  “Damn it.” She took his hands and repositioned them. “Never, if you don’t do what I tell you to.” Liberty saw him staring at her mouth. “What are you looking at?”

  “I’m trying to see the poison darts.”

  Liberty smacked her forehead, even though the thought had crossed her mind to smack his instead. “You can’t see the poison darts. They’re imaginary.”

  “Oh.”

  By late afternoon, the sun slid behind black, billowing rain clouds, and strong gusts of wind kept pushing Airus off course. Even though Boy didn’t want to give up his post at the helm, Liberty took over anyway. Since she wasn’t certain how water tight the robot was, she sent Boy to her cabin, just in case it began raining. Rain she could live with, but a lightning strike was another matter altogether. One strike on the airship could set a fire she might not be able to put out. She shut down the thought that it could also kill her. Every day held some form of danger. That was just a part of life.

  When the storm finally did hit, it turned into Liberty’s worse nightmare. Even though it was in the middle of the night, the sky stayed lit with all the lightning strikes. Some were so close the hairs on her arm stood on end with the electricity. She soon regretted sending Boy away. He would have loved all the curse words she came to utter during those long and grueling hours. Fortunately, right before dawn, the sky cleared, the wind died down and Liberty was again able to relax.

  Her arms and back ached from struggling with the wheel all night. It hadn’t been easy keeping Airus in the air, so much so she had even considered the possibility of landing. She might have done so if she’d known the area better, but in all the times she had flown from the lake to the east coast, she had never once had reason to land there.

  “I feel myself getting slower. Would you wind me up, please?”

  Liberty jumped. “Damn. I should never have oiled your joints last night. I didn’t hear you come up behind me.” They stared at each other until she finally said, “There are no poison darts. I made that bit up. Stop trying to see them.” She made a circling motion with a finger. “Turn around and I’ll rewind you.” When she finished, she stretched and yawned. “Do you think you can keep an eye on things while I take a nap? I’m exhausted and need to get out of these wet clothes.”

  “I remember, and if something happens I don’t understand, I’ll wake you.”

  She positioned his hands on the wheel and patted his head. “Okay. I’m trusting you, so don’t let me down, okay?”

  He blinked. “Okay.”

  She turned to leave.

  “No one is ever going to love me again. Are they?”

  Liberty closed her eyes and sighed heavily before turning back to face him. “Why do you say that?”

  Instead of looking at her, Boy stared straight ahead. “You said your Father told you never to love anyone. We must do as our Fathers say. I’m glad mine taught me to love, but I wished he had also taught me to breathe. I like watching people breathe. I wonder why didn’t Father create a way for me to do so?”

  There were so many different subjects she hadn’t had to think about until Boy came into her life. Had it only been two days ago? It felt like years. She patted the top of his head. “Look. I’m good at breathing and you’re good at loving. If you will love enough for us both, I will breathe enough for us.” She ran her hand down the side of his face and cupped it there.

  He finally looked up at her. “I will love.”

  “And I will breathe.”

  Chapter Five

  A feeling that something wasn’t quite right woke Liberty from a deep sleep. “Shit. I should have known better.” She grabbed her clothes but didn’t bother putting them on before running out on deck. Fully expecting to find Boy still in the captain’s chair, she was surprised to see a stranger there instead.

  His arms were crossed, and the moment he saw her approaching, he smiled, as if greeting an old friend. Shock rooted her in place until she remembered she was carrying her clothes and not wearing them. She hastily slipped them on and buttoned up her blouse as she went over to find out what the hell was going on.

  “Who in the blazes are you, and what are you doing on my ship?” Liberty got right in his face and poked a finger in his chest, her assault full of the kind of bluster and bravado she was nowhere near feeling. Too late, she remembered she’d left her pocket gun at the foot of her bed, along with her damp clothes. It didn’t matter. There was no way she would to let this arrogant interloper know she was scared witless. Never before had a stranger been allowed aboard Airus, not until now – and on her watch. Her father was probably rolling over in his grave at this very moment.

  He eyed her hair and asked, “You look like you’ve been in a wind storm. When was the last time you combed your hair?”

  Liberty reached up and tucked a long curl behind her ear, suddenly uncomfortably aware how she must look to this stranger. “My comb broke.”

  He pulled a long, wooden one out of his jacket pocket. “I’d be happy to comb them out for you.”

  She took a step back. “Yeah, and cut my throat while my back is turned. You must take me for a fool.”

  “Bloodthirsty little thing, aren’t you? I don’t even have a knife on me.” He stood and moved closer. “You’re welcome to pat me down and check for yourself.”

  She sniffed at the thought. “I would rather have my throat cut.”

  The dangerously-handsome, dark-eyed man sat back in the captain’s chair. He lifted an apple to his mouth and took a huge bite, as if Liberty was just a pesky insect. She grabbed it out of his hand. “Is this my apple? How dare you raid my food locker, and how dare you set foot on my vessel without my permission. Who the hell are you anyway?”

  He grinned and dipped his head, as if finally acknowledging her presence. “Mender, and I want that back.”

  Liberty looked at the half eaten apple. Even though her stomach was tight with fright, she took a large bite out of it, just to show the arrogant bastard she had no intention of giving in to any of his demands. “Get out of my chair.” She swallowed and prayed she didn’t
choke to death because her throat was so dry and tense. Luckily, the apple slid down without incident, and surprisingly the man stood and backed away from the captain’s chair. A smirk marred his disturbingly attractive features.

  To make matters worse, his voice was a wonderful mix of unhurried pace and deep tones. “For such a beautiful woman, you have the mouth of a gutter rat.” In his pleasant voice, the insult actually came out sounding like a compliment.

  Liberty had to work up another head of steam because his voice had somehow spun a strange spell over her. It made her forget he was the interloper and not she. She puffed up and leveled a stern glare at him, to let him know just how much she cared about what he thought about her looks or choice of words. “I’m not the one who is trespassing so I don’t give a gutter rat’s ass what you think. What have you done with my robot, and how did you get aboard my ship?”

  Mender crossed his arms before nodding towards the galley. “Your robot is giving mine a guided tour as we speak.” When she spluttered out a protest, he flicked his wrist and rolled his eyes. “Calm down, woman. The last time I saw them, they were happily chatting away like long lost brothers. Maybe you should have left your vessel with a better protector.”

  “You’re a pirate and an apple thief. Get off my ship.” It wasn’t easy being stern whilst holding a half-eaten apple, but it was too precious to throw away.

  “So that was what I was eating? I’ve never seen or tasted anything like it before.” The damn man actually grinned again.

  “Why are you here? No, better yet, how did you get here?” Liberty eyed the altimeter, just to be certain Airus was still in the sky. She remained groggy and confused from her sleep. Maybe this was just a nightmare. “We’re at seven thousand feet. I know you didn’t sprout wings and fly up here.”

  Mender pointed toward the stern of the airship. “Actually, it was much easier than that. I simply pulled alongside and climbed aboard. I even requested permission, which your robot gave without any hesitation. He actually seemed to be quite happy to see me.” He looked longingly at the apple. “Can you give that back?”